


Sorry, Pop Culture Reference

by FawnoftheWoods



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Gay Bar, Geeky, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FawnoftheWoods/pseuds/FawnoftheWoods
Summary: Bucky was a vet newly healing from losing his arm thanks to good friends.  Friends who dragged him out to this bar tonight.  Little did he know, he'd thank them one day.The geeky-est nerdiest movie quote ness you didn't ask for
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 25
Kudos: 249





	Sorry, Pop Culture Reference

**Author's Note:**

> So for reference: Tony is 24 but looks really young cuz I think young RDJ looked really young! That's why Bucky calls him a kid in his mind much of the fic.

Bucky was just reaching for another drink when a small body collided with his shoulder, practically knocked him flat against the bar. A slurring voice purred in his ear, “Hey Handsome, Wanna find a dark corner so I can properly worship all that luscious muscle?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first asshole to hit on him. Especially with his left arm, or lack thereof, was hidden by the bar. He glanced over, setting his drink out of the danger zone. At least it was a cute asshole this time, not that that made it much better.

“I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.” He said back, reaching for his drink again and preparing for the kid’s walkaway. This was one of the few military bar in the area that was gay-friendly. Since the repeal of DADT, it had gotten busier and more respectable. But Bucky wasn’t in the mood to deal with a fresh faced kid about to go off to war and just wanted a quickie in the back room.

The kid blinked at him for just a moment before grinning. “So, I shall forever remember that this was the day that I almost caught Captain...Ern, “ The kid leaned closer and whispered, “What’s your name again?”

Bucky grinned at the adorable kid who was clearly a few sheets to the wind already. “Bucky.”

The kid sputtered on his sip of beer, “What?!? I can’t say that! Who would surrender to the Dread Pirate Bucky?”

Bucky cackled. He picked up his beer to lean against the bar and give his attention to the bright-eyed kid cracking himself up. Maybe this kid was worth some attention afterall. Bucky grinned evilly, “I’m a man with one arm named Bucky!” It was gamble but he’d rather deal with the stupid arm reaction now tha later when the kid was too drunk to be smart about it.

The kid’s cackles slowed for a moment before he leaned closer. “And, and, what was the name of the other arm?”

And the kid let his chuckles take over again. Bucky almost wondered if he’d have to prop the kid up before the kid gasped enough breath to suggest a booth. Bucky grinned, “I guess tonight, I’m your Huckleberry.” 

The kid just started laughing again and Buck was already regretting turning down the kids initial offer. Or maybe this was good too.

* * *

They’d traded a few more movie quips back and forth before Bucky’s overprotective bestie noticed his normally socially reclusive friend was actually conversing. Bucky saw Steve size the kid up and sigh. Bucky knew what that meant. He was about to get ‘saved’. He wished Sam had come with them tonight. The counselor was less of a motherhen and could rein in Steve’s tendencies. Plus Steve’s cruch would keep him more occupied.

“Hey, how's it going? I'm Steve.”

The kid swallowed his gulp before holding out a hand. “They gave you a name with all those rippling pectorals?”

Steve frowned at him, but the big guy had never been a disney fan and rarely got movie references.

“And who are you? God?”

“YES!” The kid crowed. Then the kid leaned over the table, “ _If someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!_ ” he whispered to Bucky, who laughed.

“If you are God, the Gods must be crazy!”

“Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together-”

“Mass Hysteria!” They both finished together, chuckling and raising their almost empty bottles in triumph.

Steve smiled politely, if completely confused. “I was hoping for your name”

“Hello, My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.” The kid said with a straight face for all of 2 seconds before he rolled back into the booth laughing.

“How about your legal name, Inigo?” Bucky could see steam starting to come out of Steve’s ears. The punk could never handle a joke when he was trying to be serious.

The kid pouted at Bucky, “Do I gotta?”

“This is the way society functions. Aren’t you a part of society?” Bucky jokes, thoroughly enjoying the back and forth.

The kid looked offended for a moment, “I am nothing of the sort. I’m a scruffy-looking nerf herder!”

“Surely I can get a name?” Steve said again in a strained voice. Bucky could see the ex-Captain was holding onto his patience with the snarky kid. But Bucky knew what was coming next and was in no place to stop it. If he’d even cared to.

“I’m serious! And don’t call me Shirely.” the kid pouted for all of a second before both of them erupted in giggles.

“Buckyyyyy…” 

Bucky knew what had Steve worried. Back before Bucky had settled and started recovering he’d picked up all sorts of assholes. Steve had started vetting anyone Bucky ever talked too after the utter trainwreck Rumpot had been.

But this kid was a delight. Quick thinking and funny, nothing like the assholes Bucky had been picking up.

“And I’m housebroken too.”

Oops, apparently Bucky had said some of that out loud.

Steve tried again to get Buck to see sense in not connecting with the kid, leaning over to whisper in his ear. Buck frowned at his entirely too sober friend. “Caw! Ca-caw!” He cackled at the blonde.

Steve sighed, “ _Buck, I’m just trying to look out for you_ ,” He whispered so the kid wouldn't hear. Bucky frowned at him more as he continued. “And I think we’ve established that that won’t work, Buck

The kid leaned over the table, setting his now empty bottle at the edge of the table. “Ya hear Buck, I think he has established that Ca-caw Ca-caw and Tookie tookie do not work.”

Bucky blinked at the dancing brown eyes a moment before looking at Steve with a wide grin. He saw the moment Steve caught that grin and knew what it meant.

“You are so beautiful, to meeee!” Bucky sang. Steve jumped back a bit. The kid picked up the new bottles the waitress had just dropped off and handed one to Bucky. “Can’t you seeeeeee?”

The kid laughed, “Rub some funk into it man!”

Bucky knelt up on the booth seat with his beer bottle mic and started rolling his hips “You’re everything that I hoped for!”

Tony knelt up too as the bar took notice and started chuckling and Steve’s face turned bright red. Together they crowed, “And you’re everything I neeeeed!”

The bar broke into applause as Steve sighed and let Clint pull him to the pool table.

* * *

Bucky usually didn’t eat much at a bar. He couldn’t hold both food and drink and they rarely stayed this late, but he was enjoying the kid’s company and quips so he suggested a double order of loaded fries. The kid hummed as he looked over the menu.

“Maybe, with a crap ton of mayo and ketchup. And onions.”

Bucky grinned and nodded to the waitress who was waiting to take their order. “Kid’s choice.”

The kid looked at him solemnly. “You have chosen...wisely.”

And they both cracked up. The tolerant waitress waited until they were mildly focused before reading their order back to them. The kid glanced at Bucky with a look of pure mischief, “Make it so!”

The waitress had a good sense of humor

* * *

When their food arrived Bucky wasn't sure what the hell they ordered. It looked like a massive mess of toppings on fries. The kid grinned and rolled up his sleeves as Bucky choked, “How exactly are we supposed to eat this?!?”

The kid grinned, “Relax man, I’m a scientist.”

Bucky watched as the scientist proceeded to simply stick three fingers in the pile and return with exactly two intact fries.

“One for me and one for him.” The kid said as he stuffed them in his mouth.

Bucky leaned back on the bench regarding the kid, trying to decide if he was that brave. “Him?” 

“Yeah, my RhodeyBear shipped out this morning.”

“RhodeyBear?”

Tony sorted into his drink, “Brother. In all but blood. You know?” That explained how a clearly non-military twenty-something ended up at a bar for grunts.

Bucky nodded and indicated with his drink towards the pool table, “The big blonde idiot over there who is getting schooled. That’s my brother. Only not of blood either.”

“Ever seen him get shipped off without you?” Kid asked staring at his drink. Bucky knew that pain only too well. Steve had had 3 months left on his tour whe Buck’s arm took a hit. Those were the worst 3 months of Bucky’s life.

Buck stared at his, “Tale as old as Time.”

Kid snorted into his drink at that one. “What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.”

Bucky snorted bitterly as he chose his own first piece of this monstrosity they’d ordered. “The only way to win is to not play.”

Then he took his bite. And his mouth was at once too hot and too tangy. Then the salt kicked in and the onions followed and Bucky had to grab his beer and down a good gulp to swallow. On the other side of the table he stared at the kid through watering eyes. 

“In the immortal misquoted words of Socrates, ‘I ate what?’” Bucky gasped as Tony cackled across from him. 

“Invention, my dear friend, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% french fry toppings.” The kid informed him cheerfully.

Bucky grinned at the challenge and grabbed another piece of the potato to stuff in his mouth. This time the Salt hit first and was much more intense than the hot before something ungody sweet burst in.

As he was huffing to deal with it, the kid rolled his eyes, “If you can’t take a little spice, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it’s not for the timid.”

Bucky blinked at him before grinning. “I find your lack of faith disturbing!” and he picked up another mouthful.

* * *

They’d gone through half their ‘meal’ when shouts could be heard from the pool table. Bucky snickered. “Steve’s demanding a rematch. Dunno why he bothers. Clint is secretly Ngbaka.”

“With great power must come great responsibility to exploit it.” the kid answered as he watched the heckling and drank his fourth beer, at least.

Bucky snorted. “Ain't that the truth. It ain’t them with power that are missing their arm.” He waved his stump in the air.

The kid frowned at it, “That episode was badly written.”

“No matter where you go, you are there.” Bucky replied.

“After careful consideration,sir, I’ve come to the conclusion that their defense system sucked.”

Bucky snorted. That was true enough. They’d achieved the mission objective at the cost of Bucky’s arm and three good soldiers. 

“Keep Moving forward.”

The kid grimaced. “Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and your insipid dreams magically come true.”

Bucky looked at the guy across form him again. Really looked. Truthfully they probably were almost the same age, Bucky being 25. The guy was short, which had contributed to Bucky’s mental nickname of ‘kid’, but the guys was clearly past 21. And he had a look in his eyes on occasion that spoke of older. It spoke of betrayal. Of Loss. 

“When you can't go down now, it can only be up from here.”

That earned him a wan smile. Bucky could see how hard this was hitting his rather drunk new buddy. “SOunds Impossible.”

That had Bucky remembering when he was first home, waiting for Steve to return too, trying to find the energy to go to group at the VA. He knew exactly how down that can be. “People say nothing’s impossible. But I do nothing all the time.”

That earned him a small smile. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try try try t-t-try again!”

Bucky chuckled, which seemed to draw hsi companion out of his funk again. “To the undiscovered country, and all its wonders?”

They toasted to that.

* * *

After that trip down depressing mood lane, they steered towards other topics. Bucky couldn’t believe how many quotes this guy could work into a conversation. They hopped around Disney more before heading into comedy action like Die Hard and the Mummy Movies with Brandon Fraser. Bucky loved it. He didn’t want this night to end. 

He was just starting to phrase an actual name request with over by the pool table the group all shouted, some i triumph and others in defeat. Bucky grinned. “Aaaand that would be Stevie losing to Clint.”

They looked over to see Clint ducking the bigger blonde as they chased each other around the table. Bucky had no need to guess that CLint had done a trick shot as his last in an attempt to show off. He looked at the kid to see what was probably a matching set of twinkling eyes.

And together they raised their bottles to shake at the blondes, “KHAAAAAANNNN!!!!!!!”

That had them laughing as Steve got his oogies in and let Clint go to join them again.

Steve came over and leaned over the table, ruffling the kids fluffly hair, “Aww he’s just a little guy!” Apparently Steve had decided the guy wasn’t so bad. Or he’d had a few more drinks, Bucky wasn’t sure.

Kid puffed up like an angry alley cat. Bucky grinned, “Careful Stevie, might have a red raincoat in his car.”

Steve starred uncomprehendingly at Bucky as the kid started laughing, practically rolling off his booth seat onto the floor.

“Buuuuuck!” Steve whined.

Bucky stopped laughing long enough to look at Steve with a completely straight face. “You keep using that word. What does it mean?”

Tony stopped laughing long enough to say the next line with him, “I do not think it means what you think it means.”

And they both started laughing, practically rolling off the seat. Steve grinned good naturedly.

Clint came over, stashing his winnings into that hidden pocket he always had had climbed ito the seat behind the kid and leaned over.

“So this is the movie squirt you were talking about. I knew I had to meet ‘im.”

Steve rolled his eyes as Bucky sighed and waved at Clint to elaborate. He would anyway, they might as well get it over with.

“How many little squirts are Tony Stark?”

Bucky practically spit out his drink oto his new companion's face. “Tony Stark?!?” Well, shit! That explained some of this. Tony Stark, son of Howard Stark, best weapons manufacturer for the army. He inherited the company when his parents died just before he turned 21. Did good work for a couple years and then a few years ago, his business partner, and his dad’s business partner, so probably some sort of honorary uncle to the kid, sold out the kid and the military transport that was protecting him. Got the kid a vacation with some not so nice locals in the middle east. Buck should know. Rescuing the kid was how he lost his arm.

That also explained why the kid was keeping a mildly low profile in the bar. He used to come to the bar a lot after he turned 21. Some guys came to talk to him. It was an easy way for the soldiers to rub elbows with someone so high up. A lot of the assholes said it wasn’t worth coming around anymore now that the kid was out of the weapons industry.

Bucky hated those assholes.

Some of the guys who were a little older, more regular had said they’d missed the kid and hoped he came around again soon. Bucky had heard that Tony was a good drinking buddy, though he usually snagged all the bar tabs he could.

Bucky looked at his drinking companion to see the man’s face falling. It was like watching an avalanche. Tony stopped smiling, his eyes dimmed and his gaze dropped to his bottle. He abruptly downed the last two gulps in his bottle and set it down hard.

“Yup, great conversation. That’s my cue.”

Something about the whole voice seemed wrong. Fake, in some way. Even Steve was frowning at him in the protective, someone’s bullying him kind of way. Bucky saw Clint look at Tony, worried about it. CLint had amazing eyes, he’d probably spotted Tony the second the guy’s entered the bar. The bartender clearly knew Tony. 

All Bucky knew was he couldn’t let Tony leave like that. He scattered his thoughts, trying to find a quote, any quote that would keep Tony here. To recreate their connection from the past 3 hours. Finally he tried a longshot.

“You’re supposed to leave a shoe.”

They all froze, even Tony. The burnette turned to glance back at him in question, not catching this reference yet. Bucky had counted on that. “I mean trying on everyone in the city would take time, but you gotta leave it first.”

Tony seemed to be looking at him uncertainly, though Bucky was certain he got the reference now. Bucky shrugged, “Of course if I read the magic wrong, I could ram a ship into her, get your voice back.”

“I’m no princess!” Tony snapped. Bucky hid a grin, _Gotcha_

“No dress, no animal sidekick, yup you’re right! Not a princess!”

Tony bit his lip. Bucku leaned closer, moving away from his friend group, whom were still watching this uncertainly. “Princesses don’t marry kitchen boys. Do prodigies drink with sergeants?”

Then he saw a smile start to cross Tony’s face again. “I guess that depends. Do you have a chicken for my table?”

And Bucky threw his head back and laughed.

And so did Tony

* * *

Last rounds were just called and everyone started to get up at the bar with smiles on their face. Tony stood up doing this odd shuffle and reached for his wallet. Signalling the bartender and circling Bucky’s group. And handing him the card. Bucky knew exactly what that meant. Just as much as he knew what the upset look on Toy’s face probably meant. He thought back a couple hours to the slurred, lonely invitation that he’d brushed aside. Words that had actually gained him such a really awesome conversation with someone who was actually pretty cool. Someone, he could see himself talking to without the beer goggles. 

_I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request_. And more and more he wished he could take some of those words back. And yet, they’d started the conversation so he didn’t want to at the same time.

Steve pulled his jacket on last and when Tony came over to help Bucky collect their bottles for the waitress, he waved the bartender over for a quiet conversation. Bucky knew he was making sure that Tony didn’t actually pay for their tabs. The bartender was okay with that. He’d seen Tony a couple of times and knew Tony was like this. Th Bartender was a good guy.

They all spilled out onto the street to await their Uberi and Bucky turned to Tony and said “Hey, about that request I was disinclined to acquiesce to? Any, um, interest in a do-over for the question?”

Tony stared at him and started stuttering, “B-but I’m- I’m not military or cool or tall or-”

Bucky placed a finger over his lips and grinned, “Well, nobody’s perfect.”

* * *

Tony sighed as their bodies cooled in the after glow. The last couple of months had been the best of his life. He looked over at Buck, panting and messy, still looking like a greek god in the sheets.

“Buck, I love you.”

Buck grinned at him, training a finger down his cheek and shoulder blade to send shivers across his back.

“I know”

Tony grinned as he huffed and shoved Bucky’s shoulder. “You’re supposed to say it back.”

Bucky grinned and reached over and rolled on top of Tony. As Tony squawked, he whispered in his ear.

“As You Wish.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I'll answer any questions in comments, but I'm not listing the references. There are too many. Simply assume that anything Bucky or Tony says to each other is a quote of some sort. Even the Title is
> 
> How'd I do? I tried to get "ET phone home" in there and couldn't manage it, but otherwise I think I hit most of the movies if not the quotes I wanted.


End file.
